V. Frankenstein’a Açık Mektup


Hepimiz sorguluyoruz, “Zaten Mühendisim ben bırakın proje yapayım şunu yapayım bunu yapayım kod yazayım matematik yapayım, ne gerek var ya essaydir humanitydir yaaa!” diye ama bu derslerin bana biraz faydası olduğunu söyleyebilirim, hayatta okumayacağım şeyleri okuyorum. Not ortalamamı düşürse de ben derste eğleniyorum. Ve bugüne kadar Humanity dersinin herhangi bir ödevi, sınavı, sınıf içi çalışması dahil herşeyindeki en yüksek notumu (B+) Victor Frankestein’a (canavarı yaratan adam, canavarın adı Frankenstein değilmiş! naber!) yarattığı canavarla nasıl başa çıkacağını anlatan bu 2 sayfalık yazımla aldım. Geleceğe dönüş, ah yaz tatili gelsin tekrar izleyeceğim hepsini! Neyse uzatmadan yazımı paylaşıyorum. En kısa sürede ve en eğlenceli yazdığım yazım oldu:


Write Frankenstein a letter giving him advice on how to deal with the monster he has created. Give logical arguments in favor of your advised plan (two pages).

Dear V. Frankestein,

I am Mustafa, from the year 2011. The time machine was invented in 1985, by Doctor Emmet Brown. He let me use his machine, his car -obviously different from your era’s cars- and I set the date to 22 July 1815. Because I do not know the exact time when did you create your creature. However, my existence could create unexpected results and destroy the space-time continuum and cause a hell in the future! So I did not meet you in person and I hope this letter will not change the future. In addition, If this letter can get you in time, my only advice is that do not abandon your creature upon the creation of it or even it reaches before the creation of your creature, do not create him, you will not like the result, really. However, if it does not, read the above very carefully.

There are different times that you can have this letter and I have advices for all of them. In the future as honored council of HUM-112-8, we studied all the possibilities and decided to write the best solutions for your situation. If you have this letter before you meet your creature from the first time since you abandoned it, I advise you not to freak out and act like you lost your tongue. He will try to convince him to create a female companion for himself, only because he read Paradise Lost and thinks that his situation is not different from Adam but you treat him worse than the Satan. He will say that his loneliness will make him more violent and threaten you that you will be responsible for his acts. In that situation, my advice is that you act like a real god and tell your creature what will it want from you. You will be seen as super-powered, that can read thoughts. He will be affected. Maybe, you can convince him that a creation of a female companion will create unbalance on the earth and their aggressive nature can cause every people to be more violent to them and eventually a war will happen and many people’s and creature’s death will be inevitable. And you can promise a new life after death him in the heaven, as a reward of his suffering and loneliness in this earth and ask himself to kill himself, promising a better life, that he can never achieve here even if he has a female companion. In this situation, your creature may try to convince you to believe that his aggressive nature will be reduced when he has a female companion and gone exile on the forests, live a life far from the civilization.

If you are convinced to do create a female companion for him and we know that you are afraid of that you will cause a race of devils and with their children they would cause the extinction of the human race on the earth. We know that you will start creation of a female companion but will never complete because your feel of guilt. However, this will make your creature even more mad and cause much more trouble. If this your only concern of creating a female companion, why do not you take her sexual abilities? Or you can place something in the female’s body that will cause both to die when they attempt sexual intercourse. You reached the secret of life and this would not be hard. Even if you cannot do that, at least take her sexual abilities. He will only have a friend but not a child.

However, if you get this letter too late and you are afraid of what will happen on your wedding night, we have two advices for you. Be a man, don’t be selfish and do not leave your woman alone. You only think yourself, you think that either you or him will be dead and the problem is solved. However, you may not realize that you left her open to danger. Your creature is violent and smart, you should be more careful. It is not too late for you, if you can contact the authorities, police, or the army you can be protected. However, if you think that you cannot handle your creature, do not marry and always run away from him, you will be in an eternal fight and it will not be completed until one of you dies but hopefully he cannot kill Elizabeth or the other ones you love and threaten you by the lives of them, when he chases you all around the world.

I am now going Back to the Future and I hope I did not break the space-time continuum, and prevented bad events to happen. We will be glad if you take our advices seriously and leave a response in the English Natural Bank, in the account 19932 and with the password 455912. Until the time is right, your letter will be safe there.


Note from W. Coker: “If this your only concern of creating a female companion, why do not you take her sexual abilities? Or you can place something in the female’s body that will cause both to die when they attempt sexual intercourse.” –> Ouch

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